


Master of seduction

by silverynight



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: James doesn't know how to flirt, M/M, Oblivious Q, Pining, Well... Only when q is involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 00:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11909592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverynight/pseuds/silverynight
Summary: James Bond, ladies' man, master of seduction and expect on honeypots is actually terrible at flirting... Actually, he's just terrible at flirting with Q, for some reason.





	Master of seduction

Q is used to the stares; 007 stares at him a lot but he knows it's because the agent doesn't like him that much -he probably hates him- it's not really a surprise since the two of them spend the majority of the time arguing about equipment.

So that morning, when he sees the double-oh walking towards him Q prepares for another round of yelling and growling.

"Q," the sound of his letter on 007's lips makes him actually look up from his computer; there's something weird about Bond that day, it's like he's... flustered? But that can't be because an agent like him doesn't get flustered.

Q shakes his head and sighs, feeling tired already even though the day has just started.

"What is it this time, 007?"

The agent clears his throat, adjusts his tie and stares down at Q like he always does and the Quartermaster thinks that he's going to get yelled at.

"You have nice... glasses," the agent says and Q opens his mouth only to close it immediately because that's definitely something he didn't expect.

"Uh..." The sound comes out of his mouth before he can't even stop it, but the thing is... Q has never been out of words, he has a response for everything and he has never been surprised.

Until now of course.

"Thanks?" Q says and accepts the fact that's the best reply he can come up with in that situation. He has no idea why on earth Bond would say something like that and he wonders if that's all part of a very complex joke.

Bond nods and starts walking away, so Q has to lean over his desk and grab him by the sleeve to stop him.

The agent looks at Q's hand, then at him and he even has the nerve to quirk up one of his brows.

"That's all what you wanted to say?" The Quartermaster asks.

"Yes."

"You're telling me you came all the way down here just to comment on my glasses?" Q doesn't believe that, there has to be something else.

"Y-Yes," Bond's voice fails him just a second and Q wants to pull out his hair because what the hell is going on with 007. "Although it sounds really stupid when you say it like that."

"That's because it is," Q spits, feeling suddenly annoyed. "Now tell me the truth, 007. Why are you here?"

"I like you- your glasses," the agent blurts out and even him looks like he regrets saying it. In fact, James fucking Bond looks like he wants to facepalm himself. "I need to talk to Mallory."

And with that he just goes away, leaving Q irritated and confused.

R giggles and that's when he realizes all his minions are looking at him.

"What's so funny?" He snaps at R, making her laugh even more. But she shakes her head and returns to her work.

***

007 starts to bring him lunch and although Q is suspicious at first, the hunger makes him accept the food anyway. Then the agent decides it's not enough to bring food but to eat with him as well.

Q thinks it is better to ignore his weird behavior because who can fully understand a double-oh anyway? So he eats and works and does his best not to notice the way Bond keeps staring at him.

"Your hair... it's always so... wild."

He sighs because there goes 007 again with the odd comments about his appearance.

"I can't help it," he says. "There is no comb or brush that can fix this mess."

"I-I like it." Bond avoids his eyes while he says it, but at least he's said it loud enough for Q to be sure it's not his imagination.

In an impulse, he touches the agent's forehead to check if he has fever or not and 007 is so shocked by his actions he drops the mug he's holding.

Weird. Double-ohs are never clumsy.

"Are you alright?" He asks.

"I'm fine," Q hears irritation in the agent's voice but doesn't point it out. He lets Bond make a terrible excuse and go away.

***

When 007 starts to bring his equipment back and tells him he's a great Quartermaster, Q decides enough is enough and goes to the only person who always seem to have an idea of what's going on.

"Moneypenny," he says, sitting in front of her desk, trying to ignore the smug smile on her face.

"Yes, my dear?"

Q rolls his eyes, but doesn't let the pet name to distract him.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with 007?"

"Could you be more specific?" She knows, she doesn't need extra information to figure it out, but Q accepts defeat because she actually has a point. There are many things wrong with double-ohs.

He sighs and tells her everything. She chuckles, lets the documents she's reading aside and looks at him with a serious expression.

"He's flirting with you," she says, deadpan.

Q laughs because he can't help it.

"C'mon if you're going to make something up at least make it believable," he breathes, trying to calm himself down.

"It's true," she insists.

"You seriously want me to believe that the master of seduction, the ladies' man, James fucking Bond has been flirting with me? I've seen him flirt and that's not flirting."

Moneypenny mumbles something that Q doesn't catch but that sounds suspiciously like 'god save me from stubborn men'.

"He has been flirting with you. Terribly, I'll give you that, but flirting anyways. Of course it doesn't help that he's trying to woo one of the most oblivious men in the world-"

"He's NOT wooing me!" Q cuts her off, fighting a blush and losing the moment Moneypenny quirks her eyebrows at him. "Besides, how could he be terribly at flirting if he's James Bond, it doesn't make-"

"Because he actually cares this time," she explains. "It's easy to flirt with a target you don't have emotional connection with or flirt with someone because of the sake of it. But, somehow, you make him act like a fourteen-year-old. Please, have mercy on him, he's just an idiot in love."

Q huffs, refusing to let those words affect him.

"I came here to have a serious conversation with you."

"We're having a serious conversation."

"I don't believe you."

She actually smiles fondly this time and strokes his hair like a mother with her child.

"I know," Moneypenny says. "So... why don't you do an experiment?"

"Experiment?" Q almost trembles at the word because she's grinning and nothing good comes when Moneypenny has an idea she likes.

"Yes! Ask Bond to do something for you. Bat those long eyelashes of yours, tell him something nice and then ask for anything you want."

"What? No! I'd never do something like that!"

"It's just a suggestion, my darling. Do whatever you want."

***

Q tries to shake Eve's words from his head and focus on his work instead. But it's difficult when 007 is around.

He just came from a mission with all his equipment almost intact and is looking right at Q with the most stupid, hopeful smile on his face.

Q blushes, but keep his head down and pretends to look at the weapons.

"Well done, 007."

"I brought you tea," the agent tells him then. "Earl Grey from Paris."

Q takes the golden box and bites his bottom lip, thinking about his next words.

"He hasn't had his morning tea yet," R comments somewhere next to him and Q doesn't have the time to scold at her because 007 yanks the box from his fingers.

"I'll make it for you," the agent says and Q watches fascinated as Bond makes tea just the way he likes it.

How does he know?

Moneypenny's words suddenly are not as crazy as he had thought.

Then, with his favourite mug in hand, the taste of Earl Grey and the blue eyes of his most infuriating agent, Q makes a decision.

He needs to know.

"You know you'll have to do your paperwork, right?"

Bond hates paperwork, everybody knows it, he even said once he'd rather be dead than to have to make a report on his latest mission.

Q's not surprised when he sees 007's frown or the way his mouth twists almost in disgust, no, he only gets surprised by his own actions.

Because he takes one of Bond's hands, strokes it with his thumb and fucking bats his eyelashes and smiles.

The effect is immediate: 007's body tenses, his eyes open wide and then he sighs, defeated.

"Fine."

Even after Bond walks away, Q stays staring at the spot he left, wondering what the hell he's going to do now.

"Tell me, how does it feel to have a double-oh wrapped around your pinky?"

"Shut up, R."

***

When M almost has a heart attack when he finds out Bond actually did his paperwork, Q decides it's time to do something about his situation with the agent.

He thinks it's better to talk to him inside his office because he doesn't want his minions to hear.

And because he doesn't know how to be romantic, he blurts out a not so nice: "So... are you gonna take me out to dinner or what?"

And Bond, the bastard, smiles like it's the very thing he just wanted to hear.

"Tonight," he purrs, delighted. Then he takes Q in his arms and kisses him; it's not a perfect first kiss, but it's passionate, desperate and possessive.

And Q loves it. Then a moan escapes from his lips when Bond starts to nip at his neck and he thinks that maybe it wasn't a good idea to talk with the agent in the privacy of his office.

He doesn't stop him.


End file.
